Why Are You Dating?

Why Are You Dating?

You’re a woman, over 40, and you’re dating. Why? Now, I’m not asking that question to imply, in any way, that you should not be dating. It’s very much the opposite from my perspective. Meaning, I think that most women who are over 40 years old should be dating.

The reason I’m asking the question “Why are you dating?” is to facilitate you answering that question for yourself. Let’s face it – dating can be tough. If you’re clear on the reasons why you’re dating you’re more apt to have better dating experiences.

Let’s compare Suze and Carla. They’re close friends. Both are over 40 and divorced. When Suze came to me she’d been divorced for almost a year and she knew that she was ready to start dating. She shared with me how she had watched her friend Carla go through so many painful dating experiences over the past few years.

But, what Suze shared with me was a realization she had that I got her to understand was quite profound. Suze told me why she thought Carla had so many issues with dating. Carla wasn’t aware of what Carla truly wanted: a long-term commitment. Suze said to me, “I think if Carla just came to terms with that, then she would stop letting guys take advantage of her. I mean, she’s just really too nice and too accommodating.”

So, I asked Suze, “What about you – what do you want?” Suze responded, “Huh, that’s a good question.” She took a few moments to think about her answer.

Suze realized that she was actually on the opposite side of the spectrum from Carla. Suze realized that she want to date to have fun – for now. I’ll emphasize that last part: for now. Meaning, you’re reasons for dating may change over time. Suze was newly divorced and wanted to enjoy herself and allow herself the freedom of dating and not making any long-term commitments. Over time, that may or may not change for her. Either way, for now she’s clear on why she is dating.

Ask your self: Why am I dating?

Are you dating to simply get out of the house?

Are you dating to have some companionship while you do the things you like to do, such as go to the movies, the theater, hiking, or concerts?

Are you dating because you want a boyfriend?

Are you dating because you want a husband?

Are you dating because you want to figure out what you want?

All reasons are good reasons because it’s a very personal. Do a little sole searching. Get as clear as you can about why you’re dating so you can make better choices for yourself and have better dating experiences.

Kimberly Anne is over 40, single and a mother of 3 children. She’s a seasoned businessperson and published author. Kimberly resides in San Diego with her children where she works full-time as a marketing professional and author. You can reach Kimberly by visiting her site:
www.kimberlyanneinc.com .

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